The Balkan and I lasted for one very trying year. Constant fights were mostly because I was applying the same rules of engagement as I would with a man, and it left behind a significant emotional emptiness. Absolutely none the wiser, I read everything I could about women’s sexuality, coming-out stories, and desires. I found some comfort at that time hanging out with a British lesbian couple at their home. One of them recommended shows to watch—L Word (intimate drama series about a group of lesbian friends struggling with romance and career in Los Angeles) and Tipping The Velvet (a coming of age story set in 1890s in England, delving into pervasive lesbian theme). Their courage and sureness, so what if it was fictional, in the face of their own uncertain journeys was inspiring enough to take the next step. Come out to my parents. I sat myself next to my mother. ‘I prefer women to men as my partner,’ I muttered, almost whispering in an apologetic tone, weeping uncontrollably. I could. Yes, yes, there were so many damn possibilities, weren’t there? Imagine ER or Grey’s Anatomy. Or back to Shameless in time. Or Orange Is The New Black. Or that Danish series about the teacher, yeah, Rita, that was it. Or Riverdale or Sabrina. You get the idea.I knew exactly where I was headed, of course. I would find Crowley, and once I found him, I would find the Colt. Talk about a handy addition to my arsenal, right? At least, as a vampire, I was outside Crowley’s jurisdiction forever. I could never be damned to Hell. He had no power over me at all. Yeah, a rogue vampire on the loose in the world, the Supernatural one, that was, yeah, that would be a real canary in the coal mine, wouldn’t it?“So ... you’re the one that did it, huh? Broke the final seal, dusted Ruby, Lilith, some poor girl, and the fucking Archangel Raphael, no less ... tried to dust some poor, unfortunate writer, but he somehow survived. Maybe because he was a Prophet or whatever,” Crowley’s voice called out as he.
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